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The wonderful thing about e-marketing is you’re almost never paying for the media itself. It’s this that causes so much angst, so much intrigue, so much bull. And here I am again, sitting up to my arms in it. I’m actually sitting at Coast, aptly named for Sydney, because it can’t see any. In Melbourne […]
Read MoreI’m at a swanky restaurant that has featured on TV and has a weird name, like 16 or 14 or something. I’m actually wearing a jacket, cause I was asked to very politely by the people organizing the function. It’s a weeknight and there’s a huge table with about 25 people on it, set in […]
Read MoreThump thump thump thump. It’s bloody loud in here, but the view is great and the conversation absolutely trippy. I’m with Rupert and Kerry in Kerry’s new Sagorski chopper, slowly cruising over Sydney’s greener suburbs. Kerry has the joystick in his hand, thinking he’s in control. Rupert is poised near the on-off button. (It turns […]
Read MoreWe’ve got guests coming in 15 minutes and we’re short of a stack of essential items including milk, bread, fruit and most importantly, booze. My mind panics at the mere thought of an afternoon where I’ve got to be half responsible for a teeming mass of screaming kids, setting fire to the garden, pulling each […]
Read MoreI’m on bended knee and it hurts. The marble pushes into my skin, the organ’s pipes rumble deeply. I can feel them vibrating inside me. I feel like I’ve swallowed an Oral B toothbrush with the button jammed on. The music rises and falls, emotionally manipulating my very soul. I’m lulled into the swinging sing-song […]
Read MoreI’m on my couch, with my back against the window, sun streaming in. I can see over the park to my left. I’m looking out the window, frankly, in total disbelief at what I’m hearing. My mind starts to wander. So here it goes. What my fat, squishy middle-aged arse is sitting on, is presently […]
Read MoreI like having the last word. It feels as if I’ve said ‘So there, tinkerbell’ and you don’t have a chance to reply as the phone goes dead in your hand. On that, phones are going to play a much bigger role in retail marketing in the future. With GPS and Google maps we’re now […]
Read MoreI climb in. It’s bubbleish, if that’s a word. The windscreen almost touches my face, but the air blowing up from the air con goes right into my mouth and just a light, soft flow over what used to be my forelock, which is now as bald as Uluru. The turning schtick is soft and […]
Read MoreI’m twenty-five. It’s early mid-morning. I’m wearing a tweed jacket, grey flannel trousers, brogues. It’s the mid eighties, after all. I arrive on time. I’ve even combed my hair, God rest its soul. I sit there patiently. I read through a Women’s Weekly. A No Idea. A BRW. I can remember Alan Bond’s face was […]
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