Milo has entered my life. Not his real name, but you get the personality instantly, don’t you? I’m not very attached to Milo. Milo and me are like oil is to water. Instantly repelled.
Milo has to have everything carefully measured, everything approved to the last cent. Everything checked thoroughly. Milo explains everything at least three times. Milo could literally bore you to death with detail. Milo scares away creativity like a dog chasing seagulls.
Milo has come from a big insurance company, where I have to assume he was very happy until his management realized his personality disorder was causing them real pain. He’d had a staff turnover of about 100% in a year, and I guess someone did a profitability analysis on him (15% in cash the for head hunters, plus the effort of training up all the new people) and worked out he’d cost more than Swine Flu cost the Mexican economy. So they sacked him subtly by getting him a more ‘challenging’ job in another suburb.
Milo sits there, well manicured. Nicely, if a bit safely dressed. Recommended weight for height. Neat little wedding ring on the correct finger. Tapping his perfectly clipped nails on our boardroom table and fretting worse than a greyhound at the start of it’s first race. He’s virtually dribbling – balancing anger and anxiety at the same time. His desire to seem businesslike, uncomfortably attempting to combine with his desire to be totally in control.
I wonder what his big brothers must have done to him in his cot to make him so bloody insecure, so desperate to manage every little element of his life in the fashion he wants. I’m imagining them tying him down and putting ants in his mouth, or electrocuting him with nine volt batteries to his balls, or simply leaving him in the girls department at Target and telling their Mum he’d run across the road to the bus shelter. “Milo’s gone to Sydney again Mum…” (Is the rumour true? Did Milo really spend 4 hours in Target’s women’s changing rooms, alone, desperate, scared to go to the counter, dressed in a bright pink tank top and yellow and green stripped leggings?)
Milo wants a complete analysis of the last year’s media, with a full explanation of each entry and what was agreed and what ran and a cost estimate of impact vs. sales and all of it by Wednesday. These couple of bits of added detail are not going to kill anybody at my end, but they will cost his employers a couple of hours of additional administration. More striking evidence of his control-freak nature and inability to judge cause and effect.
Milo wants to save money and by going about it in an absolutely inept way he’s costing his company more instead. This article is about how to save money and not give everybody at your company or your agency the total shits at the same time. Please keep reading Milo, I know you think this is not about you.
If you have a Milo in your department, I suggest you photocopy this article and stick it on the wall of the department’s toilets, or if you’re really in a smart mood, get a subscription to the mag for your Milo. There’s one in every company, lurking, sniffing undies from hand-bags while their owners are in meetings.
People like him/her need a blunt dose of reality and often while they won’t listen to people, they will absorb it in written form. I guess to their twisted minds, printed type is inherently much more trustworthy than listening to those who actually write the words.
Why is an ad agency worrying about cost saving measures? Isn’t it an oxymoron – ‘efficient agency’? Like ‘professional real estate agent’ or ‘honest lawyer’, ‘caring doctor’. Ad agencies live or die on their ability to keep their clients believing that they are getting value for money. This comes about in several ways: More profits than they’d otherwise make. Management feeling safe. A perception of growth or at least stemming of decline. The most efficient methods being applied. Fun. Better than the last agency. Relationships that satisfy needs.
The most critical of these is the first. If an agency loses the perception that their methods (creative, media etc.) and processes are failing to generate profitability, they usually also lose the client within a very short while.
The following list is provided with one rider. I’m not actually trying to save you total money here, although you may save a few dollars, could even save 50%. What I’m really pushing for is focus on best use of money. In most cases it’s way more important for you to get a much higher return on your advertising dollar than to simply shave the dollars in your care.
How to save money
Set goals
The one good thing about Milo is he is very strong on goal setting. Treat your marketing like your sales department. Align call rates, web hits, conversion rates etc. with money spent. Set goals say 3-6 months in advance. Include media rates, frequencies, awareness, brand values if you have time.
Research the critical
Give your marketing a reality check. Where are we getting them? Expand this. When are we loosing them? Fix it. Sometimes, to decide what to research, it’s best to get your cleaner, your grandmother, someone who doesn’t give a fig about the whole operation, to ask the screamingly obvious questions. Listen to them.
Target better
I can’t tell you how many companies out there in OZ are operating without a precise definition of their target markets. Yes, it does mean you have to focus a bit more and in some cases ‘anyone with a mouth’ is a reasonable call, but most companies do way better when they think through their targeting and narrow it down to say the three most critical groups. Don’t just go for the basic demographics. Overlay obvious psychographics – older people who are scared, younger people who want to fly….I could reverse the order; younger people who are scared, like Milo…
Re-assess brand values
Does your brand really solve problems? What are they? Does it mean something? Is it desirable, or just another second-rate idea, a copy of someone else? What can I say about what we do that makes it exciting, necessary, vital? Ask yourself if you need research to achieve this? How old are these assumptions? Do we have any information that is current – how do people feel about these issues today? Change your brand values to those things that are either perennial (ie always there) or fashionable now. I note BP is a ‘sustainable energy’ company supposedly…..I guess that means they are no longer sucking oil out of the ground and burning it in cars? And on that note, never bullshit the public. Only promise what you can really deliver.
Drop peripherals
So many marketers get hood-winked by the cute idea from the promotional company or the additional run of ads by the radio station given to them at less than half-price. Good on those marketers/sales people. Bad on you. If you need to save money, save it, dumb nut.
Buy certainties
Yes, the new media sounds great. I’ve always thought lots of people would fly over my factory and read those ads on the roof. I’ve always wanted to have an ad on the back of my phone. But would my hand cover it up? There are thousands of media out there and new ones launched every week and only so many work and that ain’t many. There are only so many types of ads that work for you too. Only so many pricing structures that work etc.
Experiments are OK in limited number (ie. Try a new media but with only a small spend and be able to measure it effectively). Just jumping into new media or new anything for the sheer sake of it is a bad thing now. Changing cars mid-highway is difficult to do and you can end up bouncing on the bitumen very easily.
Be integrated
A lot of companies fail to get their radio ads working with their web site working with their banner ads, PR working with their CEO’s statements etc. Get the lot lined up and you seem like a sensible, brainy bunch of people rather than a two headed snake or worse, a disorganized rabble. I’ve said this before in this esteemed publication. The public will not forgive ineptitude and obvious mistakes and to be perfectly frank, unaligned marketing is your own bloody fault Miss Marketing Manager. I don’t care if the outdoor media seller has given you two more months for nothing on that site in Nunawading. The public doesn’t forgive you just cause it’s a good deal. The ad on there is still a message that does not relate to your current TV ads and it makes the company look stupid. They actually love catching companies out. ‘Hey, check that out – they’ve fucked up’. Be integrated or be damned.
Creative that lasts
I know the agency thinks it’s a really good idea to change the ads twice a week. In some cases that’s vital for freshness or just to get calls. But in many cases an ad can last for months or even years if it’s well constructed and hits a nerve.
Calls to action
You need action now. Think of a way to get the public to act. This does not mean dropping your prices dramatically. Go down to the white board. List every single possible offer and deal and debate them with the good-looking person from logistics or accounts you fancy (or take a hotel room) and see if you can get some decent ideas mapped out before dawn…. Why would you buy a widget right now? Does it have to be an expensive incentive? Could it be an extended warranty? Could we not use fear? The two most powerful stimulants are greed and fear….of losing out.
Capture calls/convert leads
Many web sites are running at around 1 or 2% capture/conversion. The best of breed are up around 14%. Yes, it’s often very specific sites, like Roses Only, but the fact is even with a site like that, by definition they are still losing 7 out of 8 punters. Don’t listen to the IT geeks who, because they built it, reckon it can’t be made better. Ask yourself how do we get this to work? How do we get the phone calls to become sales? How do we get the people who walk into our shops to walk out with our widgets? What do we need to say to get them to hand us their credit cards? If you do not know, spend a day on the floor/on the site and just try different appeals, different tactics.
I used to work at an antique shop in High Street Armadale when I was at Uni and the owner used to tell me to be rude to customers. (Some nasty people have intimated that it was a natural talent I had anyway.) The richer they looked, the ruder I had to be. “We don’t have anything you’d like in here.” Or “Have you gotten lost on your way home to Footscray?” Worked a treat. Never find that in a marketing book. But they’d laugh and become friends in seconds or at least trust you. The ones who didn’t laugh were never going to be able to pay $5,000 bucks for a brass lamp anyway.
Screw suppliers
Go see them, or get them in. Be very calm and quiet. Seem depressed. Ask them what they can do to keep your business. Then shut up.
Spread payments
The best way to stay solvent in difficult times is to pay everyone a bit of what they are owed, rather than only pay a few and leaving others. The others will come after you with lawyers or guns or big hairy bikers. You need everyone in the circle to stay loyal or you’ll have to find new suppliers and that takes much more time than you have spare, so stretch payments, pay half or two thirds. When they scream, make another payment. Or use the old and nasty ‘we haven’t sighted the invoice yet’. Note: that lost invoice angle will only work once or twice a year, you can’t keep up the same bullshit line too long.
Enlist staff involvement
Theoretically anyway, there are no people who value the company more than those who work for it. The practical is that many actually hate the company but can’t be bothered to move on cause they are either lazy, amazed they got this job, or running a porno production house or drug smuggling ring out of your warehouse in Boronia. The staff who are left are a good source of promotion if you can scare them into it. Must be careful though or they’ll think the ship is sinking and jump like rats. Having ‘call a cousin’ day or neighborhood post box marches (they are all asked to drop a leaflet into all the houses within 200 metres of where they live) or asked to send out viral emails to their friends etc. are a good thing to get them involved and save you a lot of money, especially if you’re say NAB with 30,000 of them taking a pay cheque each month.
Go simple
I know everybody says this. I know no-one gets it. I know it’s hard to do. I know legals will put a 14 word sentence when ‘conditions apply’ would do. I know you hate trying to get a simple idea past your simple boss, cause he simply doesn’t get it. But it works on the public, it works for integration, it works on most target markets and it works to make money and it usually works for years. But what to say that is simple?
Little wins
It’s not the sacking the big agency for the little one, although that has its appeal, believe me. It’s not the NO MORE TV or some other big decision. It’s usually the little ones that add up to big savings over time. It’s disciplines and attitude and not giving up and not getting tired that gets you through tougher times and allows the company to be ready to go as times improve. Wear your cost saving hat every day, not just on Thursdays. Chip away at the big picture, like a good artist chips away at a bit of marble to discover the statue inside.
Media bargains
There is a lot to be said for exploring your media options in tougher times. Do more digital. Try TV – it’s so cheap at the moment it may as well be free to air. Go DM – when was the last time you got a letter in the mail that wasn’t a bill? Punch PR – there’s lots of media hurting (especially magazines and TV stations) who’d happily do an alliance just to get the deal over the line.
Sack the Milos
Life in successville is about working with people who other people like/respond to. People like Milo suck the life out of an organization. They piss off customers, suppliers and staff. You are way better off to recognize the Milos in your life and avoid/sack them, than try to train monkeys to write poetry.
Get the pros involved
When all else fails, call in the experts. Negotiate a good rate first. Limit the spend. Ask them for help and get a second opinion to keep them honest. This could be an agency, a design group, a football coach. I don’t care who you get involved, but it sure helps make decisions if other people have an input and it keeps you busy for weeks with exciting thoughts and good lunch spots and that’s really what makes marketing more fun than any other profession.