Advertising
I’m on bended knee and it hurts. The marble pushes into my skin, the organ’s pipes rumble deeply. I can feel them vibrating inside me. I feel like I’ve swallowed an Oral B toothbrush with the button jammed on. The music rises and falls, emotionally manipulating my very soul. I’m lulled into the swinging sing-song […]
Read MoreI’m on my couch, with my back against the window, sun streaming in. I can see over the park to my left. I’m looking out the window, frankly, in total disbelief at what I’m hearing. My mind starts to wander. So here it goes. What my fat, squishy middle-aged arse is sitting on, is presently […]
Read MoreI like having the last word. It feels as if I’ve said ‘So there, tinkerbell’ and you don’t have a chance to reply as the phone goes dead in your hand. On that, phones are going to play a much bigger role in retail marketing in the future. With GPS and Google maps we’re now […]
Read MoreI climb in. It’s bubbleish, if that’s a word. The windscreen almost touches my face, but the air blowing up from the air con goes right into my mouth and just a light, soft flow over what used to be my forelock, which is now as bald as Uluru. The turning schtick is soft and […]
Read MoreI’m twenty-five. It’s early mid-morning. I’m wearing a tweed jacket, grey flannel trousers, brogues. It’s the mid eighties, after all. I arrive on time. I’ve even combed my hair, God rest its soul. I sit there patiently. I read through a Women’s Weekly. A No Idea. A BRW. I can remember Alan Bond’s face was […]
Read MoreIt’s 7.50 am, I’m watching the box for the weather, the ads come on. A cute looking guy (editor has deleted his name, as we might get sued) with blue eyes, thick black hair and a square jaw (I think he had a cooking show once) is walking through a farmers market. He says this […]
Read MoreI’ve got the remote in my hand. Glass in the other. First time I’ve sat down all day. I’m surfing the channels for something to take my mind off that which I can’t control. Like Iraq, Israel vs. Palestine, the higher Australian dollar and pointy shoes that ruin women’s feet. On comes one of the […]
Read MoreOutdoor advertising is the original media. When our ancestors were chopping down trees for a living they’d have scratched a note on a stump announcing “Firewood 4 Sale”. And Outdoor advertising was born. Yes, it’s local. It’s flexible. But its power is frequency. Its power is frequency. Other than getting lucky on the internet, there […]
Read MoreIt’s a Tuesday night at Graeme’s. I’ve got a glass of warm beefy red in one hand. It’s my second. Next to me is Nancy, who’s about 93 but could still pack a good punch and is sharper mentally than an artists scalpel. Next to her is the woman from the corner who I’ve never […]
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